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Not flowers, like that series of creepy books many of us read in our teens about those poor beautiful children who were kept prisoners in the attic of their grandmother’s house, but creatures. Creatures who like to nibble on insulation and vents and do all sorts of damage to old houses and heating fixtures.
We knew it was bad when it started to sound like there was a keg party going on up there. Maybe raccoons were moving heavy furniture around and setting up for the winter? Perhaps a woolly mammoth had managed to squeeze himself in there and was making a home for himself? We knew it was bad and we made a couple of attempts to alert the owner, but what can you do really?
Well, you can be cold in your apartment. You can be pretty damn cold even though your heat is cranking and your gas bills are plenty high. You can apply sheets of plastic to your windows with a hair dryer which always adds a festive, cheery element to home decor. You can start to wonder why the downstairs apartment of your house is warmer than the upstairs apartment. You can stay out at bars later than you should because you’re avoiding being home and cold and bitter. You can sleep in wool sweaters and hats and scarves and still wonder why you’re cold and what’s the point of getting up, anyway.
It should be noted that there is lots of room for creativity when creatures have eaten through your heating vents. Interesting songs and dances have, even as I’m writing this, been created out of the frustration and desperation that can arise from a consistently cold apartment. New fashion trends are being experimented with every hour. Not to mention the variety of interesting solutions that present themselves. Like not breaking down the set for Harvey’s Kitchen so you can sit and work on your computer and fry under the hot lights for an hour in the afternoon.
Despite all of this crankiness, I must say that we love our apartment and feel very lucky to live here. Certainly our discomfort is nothing when compared to the millions of people who are not fortunate enough to have heat or even homes. So as Thanksgiving approaches and we all take some time to be grateful for what we have, let’s thank those creatures in the attic. Without them we might have laughed a little less and drank a little less and snuggled a little less and really where’s the fun in that?
Thank you creatures. Now please find a new home.
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
[...] enough, it seems the squirrels might have just returned to our attic. For anyone who missed it, here’s a little visual to show you what we got to experience with [...]