Lotta squirrel talk in the air these days, in case you hadn’t heard.  An article in the New York Times last week shed some light on a maybe not so delicate subject that many Americans might find quite shocking.

See this guy?

He could be your dinner if you happen to be munching in jolly old England anytime soon.  That’s right, folks, the English have been greedily devouring these little creatures in stews and pates, in delicious hazelnut casseroles or even in old fashioned squirrel eating contests.

But not just any squirrels get eaten by our friends “across the pond”.  No, it’s the gray squirrels from North America who are the innocent victims of this newest craze.  (That includes your friend in the above photo who is a Beantown squirrel which I’m pretty sure is a special breed not to be confused with the audacious Greensboro squirrel).  The English claim all this feasting is necessary.

“The situation is more than simply a matter of having too many squirrels. In fact, there is a war raging in Squirreltown: invading interlopers (gray squirrels introduced from North America over the past century or more) are crowding out a British icon, the indigenous red squirrel immortalized by Beatrix Potter and cherished by generations since. The grays take over the reds’ habitat, eat voraciously and harbor a virus named squirrel parapox (harmless to humans) that does not harm grays but can devastate reds. (Reports indicate, though, that the reds are developing resistance.) …

Enter the “Save Our Squirrels” campaign begun in 2006 to rescue Britain’s red squirrels by piquing the nation’s appetite for their marauding North American cousins. With a rallying motto of “Save a red, eat a gray!” the campaign created a market for culled squirrel meat.”

Well, well.  My very smart and funny grandmother used to wonder aloud, as she looked out the window at her squirrel laden suburban yard, why people didn’t start making coats out of squirrels. This was during the height of the fur coat outrage and it seemed like a reasonable and economical solution.  I’m sure she would have found this news delightful.  In full disclosure, we are a family that enjoys lamb and veal and rabbit and all the things one is encouraged to feel badly about eating.  But it tastes soooo good, as my sister often says of veal.

Stephen Colbert, on the other hand, is not so delighted at this news.  He, in fact, finds it downright anti-American and a complete outrage.  (Picture a gray squirrel holding a Starbucks cup here).  Last night he updated his “On Warning” list which, in case you don’t know, is the sister list to his “Dead to Me” list.  Now “On Warning” are  “Limey Squirrel Eaters” and they are only a few notches down from Jane Fonda and a couple above grizzly bears.  Colbert suggests we start eating animals English people enjoy.  Like sheepdogs.

Coincidentally enough, it seems the squirrels might have just returned to our attic. For anyone who missed it, here’s a little visual to show you what we got to experience with our landlord last time the squirrels settled in.

Nonetheless, I’m not sure I’m ready to start eating them.  As I’m writing this a wave of nausea is passing over me. Harvey made a cottage pie yesterday when I wasn’t home.  He’s from England.  He read the article.  I ate some of the cottage pie last night.  It’s quite up in the attic today.  He has eaten whale before so what would stop him…..     !&@*$!